Spotting a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes it’s hard to realize you’re in the middle of the storm because all the debris is clogging your vision. Spotting a toxic relationship is easier said than done, especially when it comes to your own relationship. Why is it that we can always see what’s bad for our friends, but not what’s bad for us? Dating doesn’t always come easy for most, and it’s usually trial and error.  The key is to not stay in the error once it’s been spotted! The CGS Team is sharing a few signs of a toxic relationship. If any of these signs make their way into your relationship, ditch denial and work towards a solution.

How to spot a toxic relationship

Passive Aggressive

Passive aggressive is the worst, and is typically found in many toxic relationships. Instead of communicating what it is your partner wants, they nudge you in the direction to figuring it out yourself. This typically happens when one person is upset with another and doesn’t know how to effectively communicate their feelings.

The other person may not even realize something is wrong! It becomes toxic because it displays a lack of communication between the two individuals. This can eventually lead to resentment and negative feelings about the relationship. A person shouldn’t express passive aggressiveness if they feel comfortable around someone. Effective communication is needed for any successful relationship. Start getting vocal, or encouraging your partner to get vocal.

Holding Hostage

When one person doesn’t get their way for whatever reason, they jump to ending the relationship. Holding the relationship hostage is toxic. Instead of communicating what is upsetting them, a toxic person may say, “I can’t date someone who is always upset with me.”  This form of toxicity is emotional blackmail, which is uncomfortable for anyone.

It makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner. It also questions the security of the relationship.  It’s normal to not like every single thing about your partner, however communicating the things you do not like and the things you do like will strengthen the commitment to one another for the long haul.

Buying the Solution

At anytime in a relationship when a problem arises, the first solution is buying a gift. Money doesn’t always buy happiness! If the solution is always buying someone’s love, maybe there isn’t any love between the two people. More importantly, a gift is only a temporary solution. If this problem is never resolved, it’s likely to come up again.

When conflict arises and the person resorts to buying things, it’s a form of covering up the real issue at hand. When a problem comes up, don’t brush it under the rug.  Communicate with your partner and let them know what is bothering you and how you two plan to resolve it.

Related: How to Spot and Weed Out Toxic People

Part of the issue when in a toxic relationship is our culture. The movies we watch, the way we grew up, and things of that nature all play a major role in us being able to spot a toxic relationship. There are tons of tendencies in relationships that many people think are healthy and normal, even if they really aren’t.

The reality is if the relationship is toxic, it may be destroying you and those around you. If you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship, get help. Reach out to unbiased parties for their opinions. Seek guidance on how to move forward or end the relationship. We’re a community here at CGS, what tips can you give someone who may know a person who is going through a toxic relationship? What experiences can you share? Leave a comment below with your thoughts!

-The CGS Team

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