“I like turtles!” might be one random outburst you might want to avoid while on a first date. Although there could be a million and one things running through your mind while on a first date, the question is, which one are you willing to say aloud?
A first date can be a little intimidating, to say the least. It is always important to stay calm and stay true to yourself. Check out these 7 conversation starters for a first date that might help you land a second date sooner than you think.
1. Ask Questions
Asking questions lets the other person know you are interested in getting to know them. Otherwise, if the conversation’s all about you, you may come off as self-absorbed. Good questions you should start asking are the general ones.
“How was your day?”
“What do you do for work?”
“What are your interests?”
These are all examples of questions that may lead into more question ideas and having the other person open up about themselves. Be mindful you are listening to their response, otherwise, it can seem like you are a robot programmed to ask questions and not actually communicate. Asking questions conveys engagement and interest.
2. Admit You’re Nervous
Being honest on the first date is vital. You do not want to start on the wrong foot, let alone look like a liar.
Admitting you are a little nervous is a great gateway to a conversation. Many people are nervous a first date. They are meeting a person who could potentially be their life partner—or someone they’ll despise after 15 minutes of chatting.
Letting the other person know you are nervous does not mean you’re placing your heart on a platter for them to eat. It simply means if you come across a certain way, it is because you are nervous and you just need to warm up. Nine out of ten times the other person is just as nervous, if not more!
3. Ask About Their Job
Asking a person what they do for a living is always a nice conversation starter. In many cases when you ask that question, there are multitude of other questions that will come up. Typically, though, one of those questions shouldn’t be, “How much do you make?” That is private information and unless they bring it up voluntarily, it should not be something asked.
Those kinds of questions make it seem a little like your intentions aren’t in the right place. Make note, this goes both ways. If someone asks you how much you make, steer clear!
4. Speak Up About Your Passions and Feelings
When on a first date, it’s important not to bite your tongue about the things you care about. If your date asks what you are interested in, speak up! You can also get the conversation started by asking what their thoughts are on a particular subject.
It can be tempting to act shy when on a first date, but you want to be yourself. It is vital to your peace of mind and well-being that if something is passionate to you, speak up.
Dating is about finding the one, not about torturing yourself with bad company. If they make a comment about something that makes you feel some type of negative emotion, it is important to correct it now and share why it bothered you.
5. Avoid Politics and Religion
Politics and religion are probably two topics you should steer clear from talking about on a first date. Both topics are very touchy to discuss. Unless you already know you both have the same beliefs, you should scratch that off your list of topics to bring to talk about during the first date.
People have strong beliefs about their political standpoint and bringing that up can cause some tension. If you are going to bring up politics, then be sure the other person has similar views. If not, be open minded and don’t start an argument. You can always write that person off after the first date.
6. Talk About Past Relationships
Talking about a past relationship is not as taboo as many people think. Gently lean into the conversation by asking, “When was your last relationship?” When talking about your past relationships, you can mention how you have grown from then to now.
Sharing what you are like in a relationship can give that person insight into what they can expect when dating you. However, it’s important not to talk too much about your ex—or for your date to talk too much about theirs. That can be a major turn off!
7. Ask About Accomplishments In Life
“What are you most proud of in your life and career?” That is a great way to gauge what is important to the person you are on the date with. Just don’t get competitive! You’re trying to learn about your date, not one-up them.
You are in a lane all your own. One-upping your date them can come across as “Anything you can do I can do better.” Nobody wants to feel like his or her experiences are insufficient. Listen and answer accordingly, and when the time is right the floor will open up so you can share your accomplishments.
Related: First Date Dos and Don’ts
I hope these questions can help lead you out from the dark and into the light of feeling more comfortable about dating, especially first dates. Dating can be annoying as well as nerve wracking, but once you get the hang of it, those butterflies will soon get rid of themselves.
What tips or advice would you give your friend if they were going on a first date? Have you ever found yourself the more nervous one on a date? If you are ever on Twitter and IG, check out our page @citygirlsavings, and stay up to date with all the newest alerts by following our Facebook page!