Relationships are all about give and take. Compromise is key when it comes to successful relationships. You may have experienced a healthy relationship full of compromise, or an unhealthy relationship lacking compromise. If you aren’t one to compromise, it may be time to look in the mirror. People don’t realize that they (or their actions) are the killer of a good relationship. They assume it’s the other person’s fault, when it actually may not be.
When in a relationship, it’s natural to think that the problem is with the other person, and never think for a moment that it might be us. Whether it’s them or you, it’s important to point out overlooked relationship killers to avoid any negative repercussions. Take a look at these 6 relationship killers that could totally kill the fun and trust in your relationship.
You know what they say about assuming! Assumptions in a relationship are like snipers, you don’t see them until it’s too late. When you assume your significant other is happy and they aren’t, it can lead to a feeling of resentment on their end, or vice versa. Instead, one should never assume when it comes to things they aren’t totally certain on. If you feel like something isn’t right there is no harm in asking. Clarifying situations with your beau is better than assuming everything is great when it may not be. It’s better to hear it from the other person’s mouth, then move forward accordingly.
Forgetting “Me” Time
A lot of times, when people get into relationships, they put their partner first. While it’s perfectly okay to care about the other person’s happiness, it’s not okay to put yourself on the backburner. Taking time to do the things you enjoy, by yourself or not, is a necessity in keeping a relationship alive and healthy. You don’t have to do every single thing together if you don’t want to. In many cases, when a couple spends too much time together, they end up getting lost in one another which ultimately ends up in more confusion than necessary if things fall apart. Always take time to yourself and remember who you are as an individual. Your partner is only an addition. If they are not in the picture, you’re still a whole!
Not Being Optimistic
We can all be a little nit-picky at times. When in a relationship, it’s easy to vent to other people about what isn’t going right in your relationship. Instead of sharing the high points, the low points are first up for discussion. Being optimistic and seeing the glass half full, compared to half empty, can reduce the amount of arguing the two of you do. Working on things in the relationship that appear to be trouble is a better alternative to dwelling on them. Perhaps make a list of some of the qualities you and loved one work well on, and focus on making those qualities stronger. If you bring an optimistic approach to your relationship it will eventually rub off, and your partner will also take on the same approach.
Failing to Use your Voice
It can be hard to say how you really feel in a relationship for fear of hurting your partner’s feelings. You don’t want to hurt them but in the same breath, you have every right to speak up and use your voice to stand up for the things you disagree with. There’s an approach to take that doesn’t involve hurting the other person’s feelings. Instead of starting off with what they are doing wrong, start with how you are feeling. Just because you disagree with something they say or do doesn’t mean you are trying to start a fight. Using your voice will allow the other person to hear and understand where you’re coming from in a civil manner. By not speaking up, you can easily get walked all over and eventually lose your voice altogether. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind; if you say it respectfully, it will come across appreciated.
Waiting for the Right Time
Many times, we wait for special occasions to show how much we adore our significant other. Although the gesture is sweet, sometimes relationships lack love and compassion outside of those special occasions. Showering your admirer year-round and sharing how much they mean to you is healthy for the relationship. It confirms to them that the love is still there and that you don’t take them for granted.
You don’t have to take them out to fancy restaurants every day or spend hundreds of dollars on them. You can simply do sweet token of love that displays how much you care. It could be anything from slipping a love note into their car, breaking out into a dance in the middle of the living room to their favorite song, or making their favorite meal. Don’t feel the need to wait to express your love and feelings to one another.
Sweating the Small Stuff
How often do arguments break out between the two of you over minor stuff? Typically couples who live together can argue over the most annoying things. Some things don’t have to be addressed all the time, every time! Picking your battles is very important for successful relationships.
Communicating to your spouse how you feel about certain things is great, but there is a thin line between nagging and sharing your feelings. You don’t want to be a parent to your significant other, but you do want them to understand that what you are telling them is important. Leading by example is always the best way to go. Eventually with time and patience, what you are communicating to them will be heard and reciprocated.
Related: Spotting a Toxic Relationship
Being in the moment and conscious of what you’re doing and how you’re making the other person feel will only help your relationship long-term. Treating your significant other how you want to be treated is huge! You don’t want someone to feel horrible about something you’ve done, especially when it’s someone you love and care about. Have you ever fell victim to being a relationship killer? What advice would you share to others to help them overcome any of the relationship killers? Post your thoughts and comments below.