Hey there! So, this article may not align with everyone, and that’s totally fine! We at City Girl Savings have a diverse set of values and priorities, and it’s what I love most about this community. Today, I want to share a little piece of my world with you, a journey that’s as personal as it is liberating.
I want to share with you why, as a mid-30s woman, I’ve decided to be child-free. Now, for this particular article, I’m only going to list out a few, but I have about 176 reasons in a note on my phone…Not even joking lol!
Why I Decided to Be Child-Free
Now wait a minute, first things first, let’s squash those misconceptions. No, I’m not some cold-hearted ice queen who despises the laughter of children or the pitter-patter of little feet. In fact, I adore kids! They’re like tiny bundles of chaotic energy and wonder wrapped up in cute little packages. But here’s the kicker: I’ve chosen to direct that love towards my god kids and my friends’ offspring rather than having my own.
Before someone starts bombarding me with the classic, “But you’ll change your mind when you meet the right person” spiel, let me help you pump your brakes right there. Being child-free isn’t a phase for me. It’s a conscious decision, rooted in self-awareness, and heck, a sprinkle of rebellion (I mean, have y’all seen Earth?)
I’ve always been the type to dance to the beat of my own drum and I’ve recently had to remind myself of that when I started to conform to those societal expectations. Society’s script of “graduate, get a job, find a partner, have kids” never quite resonated with me. Yes, I did graduate (with a few degrees) and stumbled into corporate life, but I’m all about flipping the script, writing my own story, and embracing the unconventional path.
Sure, there are moments when the pressure to conform creeps in. Older relatives at family gatherings throw side-eye glances paired with, “When are you settling down and having kids?” Friends swap parenting stories while I sip my mimosa or mocktail, nodding along, knowing that my maternal instincts are channeled into nurturing friendships and pursuing passions.
Let me go ahead and stop yapping and get to the real reason why you’re here, you want my reasons why, right? Haha! Here’s why I decided to be child-free.
FREEDOM!
Being child-free means having the flexibility to jet off on spontaneous adventures (within budget, of course – this is City Girl Savings lol), pursue career opportunities that light my soul on fire, and indulge in lazy Sunday mornings without worrying about diaper changes or school runs. For me, it’s about embracing a life filled with limitless possibilities, uncharted horizons, and time freedom.
MONEY, honey!
Children are expensive, y’all, like AF, and it’s a huge reason why I’m choosing the child-free life. From diapers to daycare to extracurricular activities to college tuition, raising tiny humans comes with a hefty price tag. By opting out of parenthood, I’m free to invest in myself, whether that’s splurging on that dream vacation or building a nest egg for my future.
Listen, when some of my friends tell me about how some of them still have student loan debt, debt from their wedding, AND the costs of childcare, I want to thank them for the free birth control. Wowzers, how!? I cry whenever I buy groceries…for MYSELF!
Also, I am at an age where my own gynecologist brought up the possibility of egg-freezing and IVF at my last annual exam with her…I looked at her like she had 12 snake-heads like Medusa. Then she continues to inform me of the price options. Yeah, I told Dr. Medusa, “Nope…can we continue with these pills instead?” 😅
{Black} Women’s Reproductive Rights
Yeah…so when this happened in June 2022, this solidified my decision. Deep Feminist Sigh.
Also, I started to lean more towards child-free in college. You see, I double-minored in Sociology and Gender & Women’s Studies, with an African-American Studies focus. So, upon learning and studying about the experience Black women went through in slavery (oh yes, we’re going there) as literal baby-making machines for capitalism, I decided that my choosing to be child-free and having agency over my own body is a way to honor my ancestors before me who were never given that freedom of choice.
Self-care
As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD at 35, I am navigating a whirlwind of emotions, impulsivity, and sensory overload on a daily basis. By prioritizing my mental health and well-being, I’m choosing to create a nurturing environment where I can thrive, free from the responsibilities of parenthood.
Can I be honest though? Parenthood demands a level of organization and routine that frankly scares the living daylights out of me. Remembering school projects, doctor’s appointments, and playdates? Y’all, I can barely remember where I left my phone five minutes ago! Me being child-free…would just be easier for everyone involved 😅.
Now, don’t get it twisted. Being child-free isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. There are moments of doubt, societal judgments, and the occasional FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). But I remind myself of the boundless joys and freedoms that come with living life on my own terms.
So, here’s to all of us on our own trails, embracing our autonomy, and celebrating life as we make it! I’m also reminded of a quote from a child-free podcast: “Your worth isn’t measured by the size of your family but by the depth of your love and the audacity of your dreams.”
Thanks for letting me share a piece of my heart with you all, and please let me know your thoughts, are you also part of the child-free club? What are some of your reasons? You’re not alone 🙂
Related: 7 Hobbies to Learn for Self-Confidence
If you’re a proud member of the CGS Community, drop some love and comment below! Stay connected with us via our IG @citygirlsavings and join the tight-knit online community via our City Girl Savings Facebook Group. Love podcasts?! Listen to the City Girl Savings podcast featuring our very own Founder/CEO, Raya Reaves, as she covers topics to help us City Girls live the life that we deserve!
-Lena
The CGS Team
