If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent the last few years leading up to, and after COVID, doing the most. Like, seriously—running around like a headless chicken, saying “yes” to every invite, and overloading your plate like it’s a holiday dinner. But honey, let me tell you, it was time for a change.
I saw Shonda Rhimes’ book, “Year of Yes”, and I remember seeing all sorts of praise and discourse around it and how she decided to put herself out there in all areas of life, by agreeing and saying “yes” to everything. However, more enticing, were people discussing doing a Year of Less, by doing the exact opposite. Now, as a people-pleaser, I was intrigued lol!
So, in November ‘23, I decided to do something radical. Not only did I accept a contract role at my dream company (which was risky because it was not a guaranteed job that would convert into a full-time position), but I also embarked on what I like to call “My Year of Less.” I’m not just talking about less fun and pleasure, I’m talking about less stress, less clutter, and less of all that mental noise that kept me from living my most authentic life!
Let me share the 3 lessons I learned over the past year of doing the absolute least, but gaining the absolute most! 😄
3 Lessons from My Year of Less
Lesson 1: Saying “No” is Your New Superpower
First things first: saying “no” is not a bad thing, honey. In fact, it’s the ultimate form of self-care. For too long, I was the Queen of “Sure, I can do that!” and “Of course, I’ll be there!” But let’s be real, half the time I didn’t even want to go; I would have rather been on my couch watching either a Korean drama, a Studio Ghibli/anime film, or a few episodes of Golden Girls (I’m quite fun at parties, I love me 😆).
Why was I sacrificing my peace for the sake of being nice? Why was I sacrificing my time and energy for others? Why was I not listening to my gut? Newsflash: you don’t owe anyone your time or energy if it’s not aligned with your goals or happiness!
During my year of less, I started saying “no” to things that didn’t serve me. And guess what? The world didn’t end. In fact, it got better. I had more time for things that mattered—like binge-watching K-dramas that have been on my watch list forever, reading real books again (Harry Potter 😊), and actually relaxing.
I also saved the most amount of money I’ve ever saved, since I said “no” to a lot of needless spending as well! Most importantly, I became more selective about who and what I gave my time to, and let me tell you, the quality of my mental health became much better almost instantaneously.
Pro tip: The next time someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, practice saying or texting “no” with a smile. Trust me, thank yourself later!
Lesson 2: Minimalism is LIT, or Whatever the Kids Say These Days!
Okay, let’s get something straight: I am a beauty product junkie. I’m a sucker for a good sale at Ulta Beauty, and I was used to having my own Sephora shop at my beauty vanity. But somewhere along the way, I realized that having more stuff didn’t make me happier. It just made my bathroom closet and vanity area more cluttered and my mornings more stressful (because who has time to dig through all that every day?).
So, I did what any reasonable person would do—I Marie Kondo’d my life, which I have done before. However, this time was different…when I say “my life,” I mean everything: my wardrobe, my beauty products, my social circle, my schedule, my digital real estate (social media, emails, phone apps, and music), and even my thoughts. I started to ask myself, “Does this bring me joy?” – and if the answer was no, it had to go.
I know, I know—minimalism at one point was one of those trendy buzzwords but hear me out. It’s not about having less; it’s about making room for more of what matters. By decluttering my life, I made space for more creativity, more time to focus on my own goals, more peace, and more moments of joy. I mean honestly, isn’t that what we’re all chasing?
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the chaos in your life, take a page out of the minimalist playbook and start simplifying. Let go of all of that {emotional/mental/physical} baggage.
Lesson 3: Self-Love is the Best Love
Now let’s talk about the most important lesson of all: loving myself, flaws and all. We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, but how many of us are actually living it? Last year, I realized that I was running on fumes, giving so much of myself to others that I had nothing left for me and I eventually burnt out…again. So, I committed to start loving myself better—and y’all, it’s been a game changer.
Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and face masks (although those are definitely part of it); it’s about setting boundaries, speaking kindly to yourself, advocating for yourself, and making time for the things that nourish your soul and bring you joy.
It’s about looking in the mirror and loving what you see, even on your bad hair and skin days. It’s about giving yourself grace and knowing that you are enough, just as you are. 🥹
During my year of less, I made self-love a priority. I started journaling, meditating, group coaching/therapy, and practicing gratitude. Now, I was doing these things before, but I became more intentional with these habits. I treated myself to free/low-cost solo dates and took up new hobbies just because they made me happy (I just bought my first instrument, a Kalimba!). The more I loved myself, the more love I had to give to those who loved me for me!
Seriously, if you take away anything from this article, let it be this: self-love is not selfish. It’s necessary. When you fill your own cup, you have more to give to the world—and if you’ve seen Earth recently, love is definitely what’s needed.
Related: 5 Consumer Habits That Are Robbing Your Joy
As I look back on my year of less, I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I’m so grateful things happened the way they did. I learned how to protect my peace, simplify my life, and love myself in ways I never knew I could. I’m taking these lessons with me into the future.
So, here’s to doing less, but getting more out of life. Here’s to saying “no” without guilt, embracing minimalism, and loving ourselves wholeheartedly!
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-Lena
The CGS Team
